Honzedyakhiggessbeddan Hogbog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, resourceful cow.

Honzedyakhiggessbeddan Hogbog created the Sunflower Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Honzedyakhiggessbeddan Hogbog, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Honzedyakhiggessbeddan Hogbog, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Honzedyakhiggessbeddan Hogbog's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Honzedyakhiggessbeddan Hogbog's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat turnips.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about cell theory.