Baphapjinlarpspagdib is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, awe-inspiring penguin.

Baphapjinlarpspagdib created the Tadpole Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Baphapjinlarpspagdib, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Baphapjinlarpspagdib, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Baphapjinlarpspagdib's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Baphapjinlarpspagdib's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine ducks approach from the west.

2. Retreat if five eagles approach from the south.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not take Baphapjinlarpspagdib's name in vain.