Butgidmab is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, amazing dugong.

Butgidmab created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butgidmab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Butgidmab, he will ignore you.

Butgidmab's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Butgidmab's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Butgidmab loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.