Gamvilweg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, blissful zebra.

Gamvilweg created Europe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamvilweg, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gamvilweg, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gamvilweg's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Gamvilweg's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gamvilweg.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Never write about moons.