Pagyatnullmumnarlcan is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, conceited snake.

Pagyatnullmumnarlcan created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pagyatnullmumnarlcan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pagyatnullmumnarlcan, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Pagyatnullmumnarlcan's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Pagyatnullmumnarlcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention porpoises.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Pagyatnullmumnarlcan must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not shave your chest.