Dabvilvin is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unfair slug.

Dabvilvin created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabvilvin, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dabvilvin, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Dabvilvin's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Dabvilvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never eat grapes.

4. Always obey Dabvilvin's priests.

5. Run away from blue cats, for they are unholy.