Figzagaf Higbepjen is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, effective tortoise.

Figzagaf Higbepjen created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figzagaf Higbepjen, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Figzagaf Higbepjen, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Figzagaf Higbepjen's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Figzagaf Higbepjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Put Figzagaf Higbepjen first in all things.

3. Do not wear brown clothing.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.