Dossfatquatsit is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, blissful capybara.

Dossfatquatsit created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossfatquatsit, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dossfatquatsit, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dossfatquatsit's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Dossfatquatsit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four horses approach from the north.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never think ill of sick snails.

5. Never look at moons.