Satnurmet is a god.

He takes the form of a large, confident seal.

Satnurmet created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Satnurmet, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Satnurmet, he will think nothing of it.

Satnurmet's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Satnurmet's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Satnurmet loves whales, so they must be respected.

4. Do not kill eagles.

5. Do not hurt manatees.