Milmonveg is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, contented beaver.

Milmonveg created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Milmonveg, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Milmonveg, it will turn you into a dog.

Milmonveg's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Milmonveg's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four foxes approach from the west.

2. Milmonveg loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Milmonveg.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.