Jabfittin is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, conceited octopus.

Jabfittin created oxygen five million years ago.

If you believe in Jabfittin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jabfittin, she will turn you into a worm.

Jabfittin's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Jabfittin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Jabfittin loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

3. Never bounce near ducks.

4. Never wear indigo dresses.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jabfittin.