Tankadpibraw is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fast cow.

Tankadpibraw created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tankadpibraw, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tankadpibraw, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tankadpibraw's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Tankadpibraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never jump in the presence of dogs.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never run near turtles.