Yarbodnab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unthinking goblin.

Yarbodnab created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Yarbodnab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarbodnab, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yarbodnab's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Yarbodnab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never mention voles.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.