Fomgumtetti is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, duplicitous octopus.

Fomgumtetti created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fomgumtetti, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fomgumtetti, she will not invite you to parties.

Fomgumtetti's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Fomgumtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick birds.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Run away from red snakes, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Run away if four goats approach from the south.