Mapsad is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, boastful walrus.

Mapsad created a charm quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapsad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mapsad, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Mapsad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Mapsad's Holy Commandments

1. Mapsad loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

2. You must never eat onions.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never feed garlic to great tits while wearing black corsets.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.