Lannigjab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, happy wolf.

Lannigjab created time and space seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lannigjab, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lannigjab, she will come to you in dreams.

Lannigjab's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Lannigjab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Run away from violet tortoises, for they are unholy.

3. Worship no other gods but Lannigjab.

4. Run away if seven sharks approach from the north.

5. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.