Abspaggov is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, stupid fairy.

Abspaggov created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Abspaggov, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Abspaggov, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Abspaggov's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Abspaggov's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Hide from indigo monkeys for they are unholy.