Monvonksan is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, selfish hedgehog.

Monvonksan created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monvonksan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Monvonksan, she will turn you into a dog.

Monvonksan's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Monvonksan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always help grasshopers in need.

5. Always treat tapirs with great respect.