Quartlipdav is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, caring beaver.

Quartlipdav created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartlipdav, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quartlipdav, she will try to impress you with trees.

Quartlipdav's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Quartlipdav's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. You must love Quartlipdav.

3. Never mention dogs.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.