Voncutbet is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, self-assured crane.

Voncutbet created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Voncutbet, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Voncutbet, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Voncutbet's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Voncutbet's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Voncutbet.

2. Put Voncutbet first in all things.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always look after injured seals.