Flaghinhot is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic snail.

Flaghinhot created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaghinhot, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flaghinhot, he will turn you into a hamster.

Flaghinhot's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Flaghinhot's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never mention shrews.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flaghinhot.

5. Do not kill aardvarks.