Besskom is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, awesome newt.

Besskom created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Besskom, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Besskom, he will boil you in a big pot.

Besskom's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Besskom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Run away if three porpoises approach from the north.

5. Do not eat tomatoes.