Getxennakontrullhongid is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, calm seal.

Getxennakontrullhongid created parasitic wasps four billion years ago.

If you believe in Getxennakontrullhongid, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Getxennakontrullhongid, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Getxennakontrullhongid's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Getxennakontrullhongid's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Getxennakontrullhongid.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

5. Never talk about cell theory.