Fossgovgebkip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, witless gorilla.

Fossgovgebkip created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossgovgebkip, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fossgovgebkip, he will not invite you to parties.

Fossgovgebkip's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Fossgovgebkip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think ill of sick ants.

4. Hide if three tapirs approach from the east.

5. Always take life seriously.