Yattombass is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, stupid yak.

Yattombass created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattombass, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yattombass, he will turn you into a mouse.

Yattombass' most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Yattombass' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four birds approach from the east.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Yattombass loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.