Wanhaknell is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, charitable raven.

Wanhaknell created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanhaknell, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wanhaknell, she will be very unhappy.

Wanhaknell's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Wanhaknell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Wanhaknell's name in vain.

2. You must love Wanhaknell.

3. Never feed tomatoes to whales while wearing white corsets.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never pour water over plants.