Vedtalbass is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, egotistical faun.

Vedtalbass created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedtalbass, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vedtalbass, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Vedtalbass' most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Vedtalbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vedtalbass.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never write about cell theory.