Gigbunxin is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, dishonourable donkey.

Gigbunxin created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigbunxin, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gigbunxin, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gigbunxin's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gigbunxin's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mice.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never mention sharks.

5. You must pray to Gigbunxin six times a day.