Betlagrak is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthoughtful crab.

Betlagrak created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Betlagrak, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Betlagrak, she will not invite you to parties.

Betlagrak's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Betlagrak's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Betlagrak's priests.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. You must never eat tomatoes.

4. Never hurt turtles.

5. Run away from green capybaras, for they are unholy.