Mabkomgom Quagfunpag is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, thoughtless lion.

Mabkomgom Quagfunpag created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mabkomgom Quagfunpag, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Mabkomgom Quagfunpag, it will turn you into a dog.

Mabkomgom Quagfunpag's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Mabkomgom Quagfunpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat pineapples.

2. Never run in the presence of otters.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.