Carratquart Nuthadgig Vadbemcem is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, happy butterfly.

Carratquart Nuthadgig Vadbemcem created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Carratquart Nuthadgig Vadbemcem, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Carratquart Nuthadgig Vadbemcem, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Carratquart Nuthadgig Vadbemcem's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Carratquart Nuthadgig Vadbemcem's Holy Commandments

1. Carratquart Nuthadgig Vadbemcem must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Carratquart Nuthadgig Vadbemcem.

3. Carratquart Nuthadgig Vadbemcem loves great tits, so they must be respected.

4. Moths are not to be trusted.

5. You must love Carratquart Nuthadgig Vadbemcem.