Kimpogapp is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonourable donkey.

Kimpogapp created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimpogapp, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kimpogapp, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Kimpogapp's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Kimpogapp's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Retreat if three pigs approach from the east.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.