Lagtamdam is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, grumpy ferret.

Lagtamdam created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Lagtamdam, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lagtamdam, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Lagtamdam's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Lagtamdam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat coconuts.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. You must pray to Lagtamdam six times a day.

4. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not stand on grass.