Vonkguddag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, moody skunk.

Vonkguddag created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkguddag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vonkguddag, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vonkguddag's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Vonkguddag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never mention doves.