Ripcissmap is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, calm porpoise.

Ripcissmap created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripcissmap, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ripcissmap, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Ripcissmap's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Ripcissmap's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

2. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

3. Never sing in the presence of turtles.

4. Do not speak about bananas.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.