Tinmifjanbag is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, grumpy crab.

Tinmifjanbag created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinmifjanbag, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tinmifjanbag, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Tinmifjanbag's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Tinmifjanbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tinmifjanbag.

3. Erect four silicon sculptures of Tinmifjanbag on top of important buildings.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.