Stafxuckbissgomdubbun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, fussy deer.

Stafxuckbissgomdubbun created dark matter two years ago.

If you believe in Stafxuckbissgomdubbun, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Stafxuckbissgomdubbun, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Stafxuckbissgomdubbun's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Stafxuckbissgomdubbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never jump in the presence of tapirs.

3. Never paint your neck orange.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Stafxuckbissgomdubbun on top of all buildings.