Zen is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unselfish fish.

Zen created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zen, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zen, he will turn you into a mouse.

Zen's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Zen's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not kill badgers.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. You must never eat nuts.