Jonlatgem is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-assured naga.

Jonlatgem created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonlatgem, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Jonlatgem, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jonlatgem's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Jonlatgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never think about moons.