Labstragcetfadtit is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, sapient clam.

Labstragcetfadtit created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Labstragcetfadtit, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Labstragcetfadtit, it will turn you into a hamster.

Labstragcetfadtit's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Labstragcetfadtit's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six monkeys approach from the west.

2. Always wear blue.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about asteroids.