Futpodfud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, self-confident walrus.

Futpodfud created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Futpodfud, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Futpodfud, she will manifest in front of you.

Futpodfud's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Futpodfud's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick geese.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Never feed turnips to rats while wearing black tights.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.