Zimrakarn is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unselfish chinchilla.

Zimrakarn created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimrakarn, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zimrakarn, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Zimrakarn's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Zimrakarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of dolphins.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Zimrakarn must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.