Fumkengigfly is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, selfish turtle.

Fumkengigfly created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Fumkengigfly, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fumkengigfly, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Fumkengigfly's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Fumkengigfly's Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.