Vagspagkin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, bad-tempered lizard.

Vagspagkin created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagspagkin, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vagspagkin, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Vagspagkin's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Vagspagkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never mention nematodes.

4. You must love Vagspagkin.

5. Do not dye your hair black.