Vagspagkin is a god.
She takes the form of a planet-sized, bad-tempered
lizard.
Vagspagkin created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Vagspagkin, she will celebrate by creating some universes.
If you do not believe in
Vagspagkin, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.
Vagspagkin's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.
Vagspagkin's Holy Commandments1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.
2. Do not drink alcohol.
3. Never mention nematodes.
4. You must love Vagspagkin.
5. Do not dye your hair black.