Hasgumpon is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, irritating slug.

Hasgumpon created the planet Jupiter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasgumpon, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hasgumpon, it will destroy your favourite star.

Hasgumpon's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Hasgumpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always help squirrels.

3. Do not speak about bread.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never look in ponds.