Mobparkkon is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, overgenerous seal.

Mobparkkon created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobparkkon, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mobparkkon, it will turn you into a rat.

Mobparkkon's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Mobparkkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Never go into violet rooms.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Mobparkkon.