Arnpang is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, fast cow.

Arnpang created everything that exists three billion years ago.

If you believe in Arnpang, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arnpang, she will turn you into a goat.

Arnpang's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Arnpang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Always help sick rats.

3. Put Arnpang first in all things.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always treat bats with great respect.