Vogtarflap is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, emotional tortoise.

Vogtarflap created Mount Everest eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vogtarflap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vogtarflap, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Vogtarflap's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Vogtarflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ants.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never paint your neck red.

5. Never go into violet rooms.