Fidfigpin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, overgenerous rat.

Fidfigpin created Asia five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidfigpin, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fidfigpin, he will turn you into a goat.

Fidfigpin's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Fidfigpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always help badgers in need.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never look at moons.