Bastsitfet is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, two-faced ferret.

Bastsitfet created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastsitfet, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bastsitfet, it will destroy your home solar system.

Bastsitfet's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bastsitfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never hurt shrews.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never wear corsets.